Naked and Not Ashamed – TMM Chap 2
Continuing the series blogging through John Piper’s excellent book This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence we come to Chapter 2: Naked and Not Ashamed. After establishing the covenant of marriage in Gen 2:24, Gen 2:25 tells us that “The man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” So what is the point of this verse?
Piper postulates that there are two possible reasons why they would not be ashamed. First, it could be because the effects of sin had not yet blemished them and so they had perfect bodies. “In other words, their freedom from shame was because they had absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Is that the main point” (p 32)? Piper argues no for three reasons:
- No matter how perfect your spouse is, if you’re selfish and unkind you can make comments that shame them.
- Verses 24-25 are intended to be relevant after the fall, not just for these two pre-fall individuals
- Verse 24 (covenant one-flesh union) creates the relationship where verse 25 (naked and unashamed) can happen.
So instead Piper opts for the second possibility, that they are free from shame because they have no fear of being shamed by their spouse. Because each of their spouses was sinless, they would not fear the other doing anything to shame them.
So what relevance does this have for us. Notice that there is much more power for living without shame in the second reason than in the first. We might think that if I were sinless and perfect I could live shame free, but that is both untrue (I am sinful and imperfect) and insufficient (my spouse could probably still shame me). Instead the hope for living without shame is found in a covenant love that does not fear being disapproved by the other, in spite of my imperfections.
Marriage was designed from the beginning to display the new covenant between Christ and the church. We have seen this in Ephesians 5:31-32. The very essence of this new covenant is that Christ passes over the sins of his bride. His bride is free from shame not because she is perfect, but because she has not fear that her lover will condemn her or shame her because of her sin. (pp 33-34 emphasis added)
But when they sinned, each instinctively new that the other had chosen independence from God and was now selfish at heart and no longer trustworthy. They also knew they had done that and that things were no longer as they should be. Their nakedness was the first effect of their sin (Gen 3:5-7). They felt both vulnerable to shame from their spouse and defiled and unworthy because of the loss of fellowship with God. They clothed themselves with fig leaves in an attempt to deny that shame, but God foreshadowed his redemption by killing a sacrifice and using the skins to make them new clothing.
A couple of questions for thought and comment below:
- Have you ever thought about the two possible sources for shame?
- How have you been guilty of putting shame on your spouse because of your own sinfulness?
- If “the very essence of new covenant love is that Christ passes over the sins of his bride”, are you willing to reflect Christ in this way?
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Staying Married is Not Mainly about Staying in Love – TMM Chap 1
Continuing the series blogging through John Piper’s excellent book This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence we come to the first chapter entitled “Staying Married is Not Mainly about Staying in Love.” Here Piper first really makes the case that marriage is about something infinitely more than two people in love wanting to live their lives together. Our culture simply does not understand this, and neither did Jesus’ culture (Matt 19:10-12) or any human culture. Our sin and selfishness blind us to the wonder of God’s purpose for marriage.
Foundationally, marriage is God’s doing. Piper illustrates this in four ways:
- It is God’s design. He saw the solitude of the man and knew that he needed a helper suited to him (Gen 2:18). When Adam realized none of the animals would do, God created another creature in His image for Adam (Gen 1:27)
- God gave away the first bride. I’ve never seen this before but, as the Father of the bride, God “brought her to the man.” (Gen 2:22)
- God spoke the design of marriage into existence by saying “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Gen 2:24)
- God performs the one-flesh union. The preacher doesn’t make the couple one flesh and it doesn’t happen at the consummation. God joins them together and it is not in man’s power or prerogative to destroy (Mark 10:8-9).
But ultimately, Piper argues, this marriage that God has created is designed for God’s glory. That this holding fast and one flesh union is a sacred covenant is implicit in Genesis but becomes explicit in Ephesians 5.
Christ thought of himself as a bridegroom coming for his bride, the true people of God (Matt 9:15; 25:1ff; John 3:29). … Christ knew he would have to pay for his bride with his own blood. He called this relationship the new covenant … This is what Paul is referring to when he says that marriage is a great mystery: “I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” Christ obtained the church by his blood and formed a new covenant with her, an unbreakable “marriage.”
The ultimate thing we can say about marriage is that it exists for God’s glory. That is, it exists to display God. Now we see how: Marriage is patterned after Christ’s covenant relationship to his redeemed people, the church. And therefore, the highest meaning and the most ultimate purpose of marriage is to put the covenant relationship of Christ and his church on display. That is why marriage exists. If you are married, that is why you are married. If you hope to be, that should be your dream.
Staying married, therefore, is not mainly about staying in love. It is about keeping covenant…Therefore what makes divorce and remarriage so horrific in God’s eyes is not merely that it involves covenant-breaking to the spouse, but that it involves misrepresenting Christ and his covenant. Christ will never leave his wife. Ever. There may be times of painful distance and tragic backsliding on our part. But Christ keeps his covenant forever. Marriage is a display of that! (pp 24-25)
So the most important thing about marriage is showing in real life the glory of the gospel. Let me share a couple of questions for reflection and comment below:
- How does the idea of marriage as a display of Christ’s covenant keeping love change the way you think about your own marriage?
- Does this mean that it is not important whether you stay in love? If not, what role should your feelings play in your marriage?
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Book Review: Scandalous by D. A. Carson
Scandalous: The Cross and Resurrection of Jesus by D.A. Carson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Based on five sermons delivered at a Resurgence conference at Mars Hill, Seattle, Carson explores the absolutely stunning truths of the cross and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Each chapter is a treasure unto itself. Together they make up a great meditation for the Easter season. Highly recommended!
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Election Day Musings
Just a thought as Karana and I head out to vote.
This morning we discussed in our family Bible study that, regardless of who wins elections, our hope is not found in politics. Our eyes need to be placed firmly on the one who truly is sovereign and who raises up and takes down kings (and presidents, congressmen, etc). God’s plans are not going to be thrown for a loop today, regardless of who wins.
So our prayer this morning is that this election will be a step toward national revival. What we really need is people who are following God, not better health-care or energy independence. Those things are fine, but they won’t solve life’s problems or create joy.
So go out and vote, watch the results tonight, then begin tomorrow with renewed hope regardless because we serve the President of Presidents!
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Navigating Low Tides
I heard someone say recently that when the tides of life are high it’s easy to navigate your ship. There’s plenty of water and the rocks don’t come much into play. It’s when the tides are low that you find yourself with obstacles all around. Of course, the reality is those rocks were always there under the surface.
As we listen each night to the rhetoric of fear around a financial crisis or an election or global warming, it can lower the water level a bit. But when something hits you directly, a lost job or dwindling retirement or cancer, it can feel like all the water has been sucked out. All of a sudden, life is full of rocks.
Low tide times can take a toll on a marriage. The outside pressures reveal and highlight problems with insensitive communication, a short temper, or selfishness. The pressures didn’t create the problems, they just lowered the water level to reveal them. So what do we do? What we should do with all sin: identify it as sin, confess, repent and make restitution if necessary. God can move those rocks.
And the other thing to do is recognize that possibly you’re filling your reservoir with the wrong water. Jesus promises in John 7:38: “Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’” We need that internal river flowing, not one that comes from without.
So coach your own soul to say with David:
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