Blogging thru “This Momentary Marriage” – Introduction
I recently completed my first reading of what has become my new favorite book on marriage, and it comes from my favorite preacher. In This Momentary Marriage, John Piper looks at the biblical teaching on marriage from a perspective not often taken, asking “What is it’s eternal meaning?” The result is profoundly convicting and instructive.
In her forward to the book, John’s wife Noel Piper shares about their own marriage and how their extreme differences have led their marriage to swing on a pendulum between “How in the world did I get such an amazing husband?” to “How in the world did we get into such a mess?” However, in spite of the ups and downs, she affirms that marriage is ultimately a reflection of Christ’s relationship with the church. That’s all marriages, regardless of sin. So the question she asks is, “How clear and well-focused is the portrait of Jesus that our marriage is displaying?”
The Introduction begins with the story of Dietrich Bohnoeffer, who was engaged to be married when he was hanged at dawn on April 9, 1945 by the Nazis for his involvement in a plot to assassinate Adolf Hitler.Piper writes:
So he never married. He skipped the shadow on the way to the Reality. Some are called to one kind of display of the worth of Christ, some to another. Martyrdom, not marriage, was his calling. (p 13)
Piper then shares the story of John and Betty Stam who were martyred in China leaving behind an infant daughter. They were reunited in heaven, but not as husband and wife for there is no marriage in heaven (Mark 12:25).
The shadow of covenant-keeping between husband and wife gives way to the reality of covenant-keeping between Christ and his glorified Church. Nothing is lost. The music of every pleasure is transposed into an infinitely higher key. (pp 14-15)
In “A Wedding Sermon from a Prison Cell,” Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote
Marriage is more than your love for each other…In your love you see only the heaven of your own happiness, but in marriage you are placed at a post of responsibility towards the world and mankind. Your love is your own private possession, but marriage is more than something personal – it is a status, an office. Just as it is the crown, and not merely the will to rule, that makes the king, so it is marriage, and not merely your love for each other, that joins you together in the sight of God and man.
So this is the theme of the book:
to enlarge your vision of what marriage is…The meaning of marriage is the display of the covenant keeping love between Christ and his people. … It is a good gift from God, but it is only one possible path along the narrow way to Paradise. Marriage passes through breathtaking heights and through swamps with choking vapors. It makes many things sweeter, and with it come bitter providences. Marriage is a momentary gift.
In the coming weeks, I will be blogging through the fifteen chapters of this short 180-page book, sharing some of the most meaningful insights that I have gained as a result of reading it. I hope they will be meaningful to you as well.
If you’d like to read the entire book, which I highly recommend, it is available for free in PDF form on Piper’s web site, or you can purchase it from the common sources.
Some questions in the meantime:
- Does your own marriage swing on the pendulum from idealism to pessimism? Do you spend more time on one end or the other?
- Have you ever considered marriage as a picture of the relationship of Christ and the church?
- What do you think about Jesus’ words that there will be no marriage in heaven? Does that disappoint you? What about Piper’s comment that in heaven “the music of every pleasure is transposed to an infinitely higher key?”
- Bonhoeffer talks about marriage as more than a personal thing but as a responsibility toward the world. How does that strike you? How would it change things if you approached it that way?
Share your thoughts or comments below
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This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence by John Piper
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
This is clearly the best book on marriage I’ve ever read, hands-down. John Piper states so profoundly what I’ve been convicted is the real purpose of marriage, raising our thoughts to something much higher, and in the process giving us the power to live out a Christ-exalting marriage. This is a must-read for everyone who’s married or knows someone who’s married.
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When God’s work seems like drudgery
Stayed home from church this morning trying to kick a cold I picked up while at the Biblical Counseling Training Conference in Lafayette, IN. It was an inspiring and instructional week but after 49 hours of instruction and the 11 hour drive home I was exhausted. I found myself in one of those places where my fatigue caused everything that’s going on in my life to look like an insurmountable obstacle. Ever been there?
So, honestly I was really looking forward to having some quiet hours alone this morning to do business with God. I started by going over some of the key Scriptures we covered at the conference and let them minister to my soul. Then spent some time meditating on Colossians, including a verse that has ministered a lot to me over the past few months. In Col 1:29, Paul speaks of his ministry and says, “For this I toil, struggling with all His energy that He powerfully works within me.” That’s a perspective that I need to be reminded of repeatedly. Our work here is often a struggle and toil, but it is done with energy that is provided by God. Even just now I was reminded to stop and pray for God to provide the energy that I need for each day because otherwise I’ll be overwhelmed.
There are so many exciting things happening at FamilyLife and some days are truly inspiring. Others are just work. That’s what Paul said even his ministry of the gospel was like: toil and struggle. That’s normal. It isn’t all easy just because you’re walking with God.
So what should I do about it? Part of it I’ve already mentioned: realize that it’s normal and ask God for the strength to persevere. But I also think about Jesus’ words to the church of Ephesus that had lost its first love. In Rev 2:4-5 he counsels them about how to reverse that spiritual apathy by saying:
But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent.
So what does Jesus tell the Ephesians to do:
- Remember where you have fallen from
- Repent
- Do the works you did at first
I think that’s not only something we need to do when we find ourselves bored with the gospel (God forbid!) but also when the work of the kingdom seems arduous and unpleasant. We need to think back to the times in the past where we had a passion for doing His work and repent of the wrong thinking that has led us away from that point. Then, we need to get busy doing the things that we did back then. Notice that Jesus addresses a lack of love by a call to repentance and action. When the actions are right, the feelings will come.
So pray for me that I will be able to live in this truth. I need it often.
What have you learned during times when God’s work seems like drudgery? Share your comments.
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Keeping the Covenant through Cancer
The battle against cancer can be one of the most difficult journeys for a marriage. Unfortunately, the divorce statistics are very high for these couples, yet I just came across this video of a couple who persevered and leaned into their covenant to make it through. Though it’s not part of this video, a Weekend to Remember they attended while he was undergoing treatments was a significant part of their story. We will all face adversity. Will it push you toward your spouse or away from him/her? toward God or away from Him?
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Do you see Christ as resurrected?
Great quote I found on Crossway’s blog. It was taken from Raised with Christ by author Adrian Warnock
The degree to which we neglect the resurrection is also the degree to which we neglect to think about Jesus as he really is, now. Jesus is enthroned in heaven and is reigning inside every believer. His powers are limitless, and he is at liberty to do as he wishes. While on earth he did not fully reveal his glory and divine power. To only think of Jesus as a long-haired, gentle man in a robe and wearing sandals has devastating effects on the church. This perception has permeated the attitudes of many who perceive Jesus as a weak character but a good teacher. The world seems blind to the Bible’s description of the resurrected Jesus, full of power and authority. This description is highly offensive to the world. But to worship Jesus as the artists have portrayed him, instead of as the Son of Man in all his glory, is nothing short of idolatry. (Excerpt from pp 68).
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God of All Provision – Through You
In the midst of all the talk of economic hardship, and I know it’s real, here are a couple of things to balance the negativity.
FamilyLife found itself with the largest December match opportunity in our 33 year history, more than twice any previous match. A group of donors had pledged $2 Million to match donations in December. Well, this email just went out:
GREAT NEWS from FamilyLife!
Dear Friend,
We are thrilled to report that through the generous giving of FamilyLife friends and partners like you, we fulfilled the history-making $2 million Family-to-Family Matching Challenge. Thank you for the part you played in this tremendous effort!
Then, our family had personally asked our donors and friends for help with an $11,000 need and, on December 31st, God provided in His own unique way. In fact, we just learned of the gift that fulfilled the goal yesterday and were once again overwhelmed at God’s kind and unmistakable provision.
Isn’t it just like God to take a time when the world is pulling in the sails to provide in such abundance to His work? Blessed be the Name of the Lord! Never doubt His ability to provide for your needs as well. He is more than able!
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