WalkerFamilyLife Blog

The battle against cancer can be one of the most difficult journeys for a marriage. Unfortunately, the divorce statistics are very high for these couples, yet I just came across this video of a couple who persevered and leaned into their covenant to make it through. Though it’s not part of this video, a Weekend to Remember they attended while he was undergoing treatments was a significant part of their story. We will all face adversity. Will it push you toward your spouse or away from him/her? toward God or away from Him?

This post today on FamilyLife’s Fan Page on Facebook

Amber Roth DeGrace I wanted to say that my husband and I recently welcomed a daughter, Lotus, that was a baby ‘dreamed up’ at a FamilyLife conference at Skytop Lodge in PA last April. Thank you for helping us renew our relationship with each other, we were so blessed by our weekend together and have such a beautiful little lady as a memorial to our renewal! Blessings to you and your families in this new year.

I just joined over 11,000 others (and growing) in signing The Manhattan Declaration, a statement released yesterday by Christians of all traditions joining together to take a stand on three core truths:

1. the sanctity of human life
2. the dignity of marriage as the conjugal union of husband and wife
3. the rights of conscience and religious liberty.

The declaration goes on to say:

Inasmuch as these truths are foundational to human dignity and the well-being of society, they are inviolable and non-negotiable. Because they are increasingly under assault from powerful forces in our culture, we are compelled today to speak out forcefully in their defense, and to commit ourselves to honoring them fully no matter what pressures are brought upon us and our institutions to abandon or compromise them. We make this commitment not as partisans of any political group but as followers of Jesus Christ, the crucified and risen Lord, who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

I encourage you to read and, if you agree, sign this important statement of truths then join the battle to defend them as well.

From FamilyLife’s Marriage Memo. Subscribe Here

Combating Cohabitation With a Free Wedding

by Scott Williams

“Let’s Just Live Together.”

That was how Pastor Bryan Carter of Concord Church in Dallas, Texas, titled the final sermon in his six-week series on maximizing singleness. But his intention was not to encourage singles to live together outside of marriage.

Instead, he prodded cohabiting singles of his congregation with a challenge: If you are not honoring God by your behavior, move out. And if you want to get married, the church will pay for it all: the gowns, tuxedos, rings, even the wedding cakes.

“I told them, ‘We’ve already made arrangements, and we’ll have you married in 30 days,’ ” Carter said of that Sunday morning. “I said, ‘Meet me at the church at 3 o’clock and we’ll provide more details.’ “

He was worried that no one would show up. To his relief, and surprise, 30 couples came. In the ensuing weeks, they received premarriage counseling and an evaluation of their compatibility as a married couple. By the end of the 30 days, 18 of the couples showed up for the ceremony.

Some acted on the offer because they were convicted about the immorality of living together. Others took advantage of the opportunity because it offered them the dream they had always wanted but couldn’t afford.

The weddings cost the church a total of $8,000, a bargain considering that a single typical wedding in that part of Dallas runs $18,000-$30,000. And this is not an affluent area.

That’s part of the problem. Weddings today are being seen more as social affairs than as a public declaration of the lifelong union of one man and one woman. A young girl dreams about her Cinderella wedding. Then she finds as a young woman that she and her Prince Charming don’t have the resources to pull off a big event. Because she can’t separate the ceremony from the commitment, she decides that marriage must not be a reasonable option. Any time the cost of a wedding prevents a marriage, you realize the perspective is all wrong.

The other big part of the problem is that cohabitation has become much more acceptable to the public. In the last three decades, the number of unmarried couples has grown six-fold, and is increasing exponentially today.

“No one wants to get married anymore,” Carter said. “They simply want to just live together and enjoy all the benefits of marriage without the commitment.”

The reasons couples cohabit are varied, but generally fall into three categories:

• Distrust or devaluing of marriage as an institution or lifestyle.
• Cultural separation of marriage from sex and childbearing.
• Financial considerations.

When a culture reinforces the equal validity of all forms of relationships, I believe that God’s original design for marriage stands out as one-of-a-kind gem among cheap imitations. We have the great privilege of showing what marriage is and what it can be.

Kudos to Pastor Carter and Concord Church for taking a stand against cohabitation and for showing that marriage is a commitment, not a ceremony; a means for mutual growth toward oneness, not a place to selfishly have needs met; and a blessing from God, meant to reflect the relationship He desires with those He created in His image.

When Maine voted this week to reject “gay marriage” they became te 31st state in a row to reject this notion in a popular vote. It was a great victory for maintaining the only true definition if marriage, regardless of what Websters may say.
That being said, we must be aware that it was a close vote in Maine and that the media is doing all they can to change the public perception of homosexuality so that it is viewed as normal rather than as sin. We must be very engaged with our children and those around us if we hope to continue winning votes and not allow the culture to normalize a lifestyle of sin that imprisons many.

Here are just a few of the findings:

a. 76% marry for keeps or just once

b. 5% have been married 3 or more times

c. there were 200,000 LESS same sex marriages from 2007 to 2008.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/census/2009-09-21-marriage-gay_N.htm?loc=interstitialskip

I am convinced that we have rounded a corner as a society and it is leading us down a very dark alley.

Consider the two stories I’ve run across in just the past 16 hours:

First, I see this story on ABC World News Tonight about how 40% of new births are to unwed mothers, not because of an increase in teen pregnancy which has actually dropped slightly, but because of adult women in their 20’s who are simply cohabitating and feel no responsibility to marry. In fact, a staggering 60% of births to women 20-24 were to unwed mothers!

Then, Dennis Rainey sends me this link about how an educator in Australia is suggesting that we have 5-year renewable marriage contracts rather than lifetime covenants. Unbelievable!

We have been speaking for a number of years about being in a “post-Christian” culture. I believe we are rapidly heading into a “post-marriage” culture. Marriage is no longer viewed as the bedrock of the family and has become completely optional to most.

Let me share with you this quote from Dennis Rainey:

A Harvard sociologist and professor by the name of Carle Zimmerman studied civilizations and determined that no nation can outlive the strength of its families. He said “Nations and empires rise and fall on the strength of their families.”

He identified three phases that the family went through as civilizations rose to power and then fell apart. What the family went through during the last stages of the fall was described by the following: marriage lost its sacredness, alternative forms of marriage were advocated, feminist movements flourished, parenting became more difficult, adultery was celebrated, women lost their inclination for childbearing, and sexual perversions abounded, including bestiality, but especially homosexuality and infidelity.

Zimmerman said this marked the final stage of societal disintegration.

If his book had been written last year, you would accuse him of just reading newspapers and being a fear monger. But his book was written in 1947.

This is a critical battle that we are fighting! If you are not engaged, find a way to join the battle or partner with us and our work at FamilyLife.

Last Wednesday, popular speaker Voddie Baucham was in Little Rock to be interviewed on FamilyLife Today about his new book “What He Must Be if He Wants to Marry my Daughter.” While he was at the headquarters, Voddie took a few minutes to address our staff about conflict resolution and properly understanding Scripture. Listen here to what he shared.

Great article by Cal Thomas on the Iowa court ruling and the possible ramifications.

WORLD Magazine | Iowa court ruling | Cal Thomas | Apr 07, 09.

Recession-proof Your Marriage – 11Alive.com | WXIA | Atlanta, GA.